“Relapsing in natural but it’s never a fun place to be. Embracing myself (specifically my body) is like touching heaven, and relapsing into how I’ve been taught to hate is like the rock bottom of a miserable, barren hell. Knowing that I don’t really hate myself and I don’t want to think I do pounds me into the ground and drags me around until I’m just raw and pissed off.”—Ms. Queenly (via fatterthanfiction)
“Life kicks you around sometimes. It scares you and it beats you up. But there’s one day when you realize you’re not just a survivor. You’re a fighter. You’re tougher than anything life throws your way. And you are.”—One Tree Hill (via couragehopestrength)
Eating disorders are not a choice. You don’t choose them, they choose you. But, you do have to choose to recover.
Eating disorders are not caused by one thing- parents, fashion industry, media. EDs are multifactorial, rooted deeply in genetics, and triggered by environmental, emotional, social, and psychological factors.
Anorexia Nervosa is the deadliest mental illness; it claims more lives than any other mental illness.
You cannot tell by looking at someone whether or not they have an eating disorder. Eating disorders do not discriminate- they affect males and females, people of all races and ethnicities, and those of all shapes and sizes.
“Are you getting your period?” She narrows her eyes.
No! God. I hate that. I hate when every negative act is blamed on your period.” Sometimes bitchiness is just bitchiness, happily unattached to anything hormonal. It should get full credit.”—The Nature of Jade,Deb Caletti (via creatingaquietmind)
Good! What about this surgery business? Good recovery there?
Oh, yes, surgery! I’m doing ok. The pain is mostly gone, except the incision line is still really sensitive to touch. I’m on crutches but I hopefully should be off of them by next weekend.
I don’t know why, but everything seems to take 10x longer now. I can’t do much walking on crutches, so I’ve been staying in my house way too much. I went through cabin fever and am now into acceptance.
So since it's a question type thing, are you doing well with recovery?
Any words are welcome in here, no need for it to be a question :)
I’m doing really well! I assume you’re talking about my eating disorder recovery, but let me know if I’m wrong.
The last time I used a behavior was in June. I’ve definitely thought about it but I keep deciding to stay on track. The thoughts are also coming around less often, which is obviously a relief!
The road is hard, don’t get me wrong, and I fully expect for harder times to be here in the future. I also think I’ll slip here and there but get back on the right path quick enough.
I think I’m at the point where recovery is what I want. I don’t want to go back to treatment. I don’t want to go back to that lifestyle and start over again. I want to move on. I want the future that I dream of and the only way I can get it is if I stay on track.