Survivors of sexual abuse and rape don’t owe their abusers niceness. In fact, they don’t owe them anything. At all. There are some things that drop you out of the category “decent human being who deserves my respect”— rape and molestation are among those.
If a survivor is nice or “polite” to their abuser, it should be seen as an act of sainthood. Because that’s what it is— it comes out of nothing except for that person’s own goodness, and probably at their expense.
Survivors don’t owe their abusers anything at all. Ever.
I don’t agree 100% with “probably at their expense” because there are those that are able to let go of their hate for them. I think it is true that once you free yourself from those feelings, you free yourself from a large part of what happened.
But yes, they are also saints. I don’t know how they do it.
It’s hard to find recovery blogs that don’t include their food intake :/.
It gets easier if you download tumblr savior. Some of them tag their food posts, and some of them will start if you bring it up because they simply haven’t thought about it. Blacklisting tags has saved me on too many occasions.
“Women of today are still being called upon to stretch across the gap of male ignorance and to educate men as to our existence and our needs. This is an old and primary tool of all oppressors to keep the oppressed occupied with the master’s concerns. Now we hear that it is the task of women of Color to educate white women—in the face of tremendous resistance—as to our existence, our differences, our relative roles in our joint survival. This is a diversion of energies and a tragic repetition of racist patriarchal thought.”—
The Master’s Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master’s House, by Audre Lorde (1979)
mmmhhmmmm. for the “but how will we knooowwww not to be racist, entitled douchefucks if you dont hold our hands and teach us” crew. fuck off.
“You’re not weak. Your life is not defined by a letter grade, a dress size, your sexuality or anything else. You have every chance at happiness. You were not meant to suffer. You are loved. Never, ever give up.”—Chris Colfer (via kaylasaurus)
I think people would rather say that girls are actually fat and need to "do something about it" than confront the fact that we have a serious problem of how we view our bodies in this country, if only because the latter is more difficult to do anything about.