“As I say the words, I realize how true they are. And maybe that’s the trick to getting through it, through life: realizing that everybody, including ourselves, is lugging around some kind of screwed-up baggage. Maybe we are put here to help each other carry the loads.”—Lisa Ann Sandell, A Map of the Known World
People want to shout “Fat is bad” with the same zeal that they would have shouted “The sun revolves around the Earth” just a few years ago and pretend that it’s not possible that they’ve got it completely wrong. But history and the evidence points in another direction:
Habits, not weight, are the best determinant of health. 
Fat people are not the cause for the rise in healthcare costs. 
Intentional weight loss almost never works in the long term. 
You can absolutely be fit and fat. 
Those who espouse Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size are just the new Galileo on the block. It wasn’t easy for him either but the fact that he was put under house arrest and told to sit down and shut up didn’t change the fact that what he was saying was true. It’s up to us to keep reminding people that “Everybody” very rarely knows anything and that if your arguments are based on what “everybody knows” then it’s time to check your sources. In the meantime, we can employ strategies to deal with this emotionally and decide that if they want a war on obesity, we’ll give them one!
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” ― Maya Angelou
What if every spider I’ve ever crushed thought it was like, living in my house with me the whole time and one day I just flew off the handle and murdered it. Like it just thought we were hanging out together.
Has every spider died while feeling a sense of betrayal.
I support fighting oppression in whatever means necessary. (Triggering people is not apart of that, because it is inherently oppressive.) You can be loud and angry. That is completely justifiable. If someone is being oppressive towards you, you have every right to tell them to go fuck themselves….
“Nearly 25 per cent of rapes reported to the police are “no crimed.” This means that the police decide no crime has taken place, so they don’t investigate it or include it in official crime figures. Yet government research has found that over 30 per cent of reported rapes ignored by the police should have been investigated according to the police’s own rules.”—Kat Banyard, the Equality Illusion, p. 130 (via femalestruggle)
Someone sent me a message a few days ago but I forgot to respond and now their account is now deactivated. If whoever it was finds their way back to my page, I want to say thanks and I hope your recovery goes well. Please message me again, I’m so sorry I didn’t get a chance to message you back.
One of the things I notice when I am in my wheelchair is that many adults have difficulty knowing exactly what to say or how to act with someone who is in a wheelchair. Sometimes I notice inadvertent, side-glances; people who don’t glance directly at me, but will furtively look at me and then look away, as though they’re afraid of being caught staring.
I think that it is important to note that while you may be curious, some good general tips are as follows.
Tip 1. If you are curious and want to look at my wheelchair, please openly look at me, as you would look at any other able-bodied adult, and make eye contact. This is much less hurtful to me than when people pretend to be looking at something else while sneaking side-glances at me and my wheelchair.
I think I know why they do this; it is an ingrained cultural concept that we should not stare at others who are different. However, doing that kind of thing makes me feel like I am some kind of bizarre person, and increases my feeling of isolation.
People often have a natural desire to look at a wheelchair. It’s ok. A wheelchair is something out of the ordinary. However, it is immensely more painful to me if you give me a couple of sidelong glances and then move on without ever saying hello or acknowledging me. You don’t have to talk to me, but please do nod or smile as you would do to a normal person. It restores my feeling of humanity and equality.
Tip 2. If you have questions, ask, in a polite and respectful manner. I am usually very happy to answer questions about my condition or why I am in a wheelchair. I know I make people curious, especially because I am young. Many people don’t understand my disease, spina bifida, and want to know why I am in a wheelchair, especially when I don’t have a visible cast or broken bone. Politely asking is not offensive; ignoring and staring covertly is.
Tip 3. If you have small children, and they ask you something like, “Mamma, why is that boy in a wheelchair?” The best way to respond is probably to say something like “I don’t know; let’s ask him.” I have heard parents hush children up with a “Stop it, that question isn’t appropriate,” or they may say, “We don’t ask people those sorts of things. It’s rude.” Children have a natural curiosity about the way the world functions. They want to know. And by allowing them to approach and talk to me, you are increasing their tolerance and acceptance for people with disabilities. Plus, the majority of people in wheelchairs are happy to interact with curious children. They ask the questions that the majority of adults are thinking, but are afraid to ask.
Tip 4. When talking to me, don’t feel you need to kneel down or get on my level to talk with me face to face. While I understand that some people do that, thinking that it allows them to better make eye contact with me, but on the whole, it comes across as condescending. I know I’m in a wheelchair and I know that you’re going to be looking down at me. Just talk to me as you’d talk to me if I stood up and was facing you. At the same time, don’t hug a wheelchair user if you’re just meeting them for the same time, unless you would hug a casual acquaintance in the same situation; make sure to treat those in a wheelchair with the same respect for physical distance you’d treat those who were able bodied.
Tip 5. Offering help to a wheelchair user in obvious distress is ok. For example, yesterday my sports wheelchair went slightly off the road and got stuck in a patch of mud; I couldn’t get it out of the mud without someone’s help. Sometimes people walk on by, and look sympathetic, but aren’t sure what to say for fear of offense. A kind, “can I help you?” or “Can I be of any assistance?” can sometimes be greatly appreciated. At the same time, if the wheelchair user says ‘no, I’m fine,” it’s best to respect his/her preference.
Tip 6. Not everyone in a wheelchair is paralyzed. But people usually assume that is why you would use one. Illness and frailty often make wheelchair use necessary, and it can be just as necessary as for those who cannot move their limbs at all. The reason I use a wheelchair is because of I was born with Spina Bifida, which is a spinal disease.
Tip 7. When someone in a wheelchair asks you a question or addresses you in any way, look at him or her directly when you reply. NOT the person pushing the chair. You would be surprised how many people do this. I can’t express how rude it is.
When I was in a wheelchair after a surgery, I felt horrible when people would attempt to sneak glances at me. You’d be surprised at how nice eye contact and a smile is.
“[Sexist] coverage is even worse for Ye Shiwen, the incredible swimmer from China who shattered the world record for the 400-meter medley. She swam the last 50 meters even faster than American gold medalist Ryan Lochte. But most of the talk about Shiwen has been that of suspicion and incredulity rather than praise and awe. Baseless rumors about drug use have dominated the commentary, despite members of the International Olympic Committee coming to her defense.”—